Tuesday, 28 March 2017

III Continuing Journal March 27 2017

KA, starting monday 27.III.2017
3/27/17 at 9:17 AM
Monday 27.III

Leaving out some torrid stuff, since Katherine Anne could be married (that might be one reason why she stopped making the videos).

Yesterday evening in a laundry, I used this "self" induction, "day dreaming" about her:

KA : you go down the stairs, I am counting 1 ... 2 and 3 ... etc to 10.

Which I imagined doing.

Then, this:

Me : 100
KA : You go to sleep now
Me : 99
KA : You go to sleep now
Me : 98
KA : You go to sleep now ...

I don't recall coming down to 70, and I was woken up so must have slept.

Finding a new place, I reused the latter several times over, since people were coming and going.

This morning I tried to reuse it, but thought the better of it after verifying it really was morning.

Since then, on and off, suffering some sleepiness, including a kind of hypnotic hangover, image of KA recurring and me shaking it off (or trying to) as if trying to shake off sleepiness. Can relate to certain scenes in The Silver Chair - lady of the Green Kirtle obviously having abused hypnosis, and Rilian obviously having a similar physical sensation.

Should I see a hypno video with someone else as an antidote or let it happen? (written 9:12 and I woke somewhat before 7 sth after regaining sleep between 22:30 and midnight, not sure when).

Anyway, trying to leave off looking at her video today.

C. S. Lewis must have had some experience with hypnosis, since he could both accurately describe shaking off a hypnotic hangover in the Silver Chair and programming to wake up later as Tirian did in The Last Battle. That one I tried yesterday morning, was trying to get down 7:45 - 55 sth and hoping to wake up 8:30. Went down after 8:05 and woke up 8:25 - refreshed for the next hour, but it did not stop the sleep lag from tiring me down as to disability in conversation or tiredness from listening to that of others.

Above mentioned nap for the night was not the sole nap yesterday after that, I took one in the afternoon as well. Hypnotically, so as to get some rest, or at least tried to.

3/27/17 at 10:06 AM
10:06 still fighting a kind of hypnotic hangover ...

3/27/17 at 11:26 AM
11:25 and still KA hovering above my eyelids, from time to time while I do other things - tonight, IF I do autohypnosis, the suggestion will be fortified by hours of preparation, it would be ending a fight of hours, not of just two minutes, to give in ...

3/27/17 at 11:58 AM
11:55 feeling fairly irritated at:

  • drooping eyelids
  • feeling half horny
  • Katherine Anne's face popping up in my mind (even she in her bad mood)
  • AND me being in a public library where I can't give in!

I recall that tactic of her suggesting to Brian he feels guilt and frustration at not being completely zonked out all the 24 hours ... frustration works as an enforcement of suggestions, I am "afraid" (not that I don't enjoy it, and yes, here KA's face snickering sweetly)

3/27/17 at 12:27 PM
12:22 Doggedly struggling on, soothing the pain of not- giving in by imagining how sweet it will be to give in tonight.

If I get to it.

Reflecting why marriage is better than chocolate and heaven is better than hypnosis.

When you are in bed with husband or wife (I imagine), and say "can I have some more", you will not be sad to hear "me too".

When you are obeying God in Heaven, and enjoying that, you are not fearing that who you are obeying will become an idol separating you from God and damning you.

And now, not married, not having chocolate since it is a monday in Lent and outside my meals, not being hypnotised since in a library and even so being wake hypnotised by enforcing hypnotic pre-induction with every time I nudge finger onto side of nose or every struggle I have to go through, I notice that I have other things to do and they do not quite take my mind off this going over and over again through my mind ...

3/27/17 at 12:40 PM
12:39 done with what I was doing, thinking of going out and taking a sleep ... or perhaps just out and take a coffee, sparing possible hypnotic bliss for later.

[Sparing = saving, I'm Swedish and in Swedish and German the word for "save" except when it means rescue is "spara"/"sparen".]

3/27/17 at 1:11 PM
13:10 probably spent most of half hour since then watching parts and clips of hypnosis videos ... sound off.

Trying to avoid KA, but not quite succeeding.

3/27/17 at 2:01 PM
AND at 13:59, I have been reading answers on quora about hypnosis and selecting videos to watch later ...

Creative Life, Kelli von Heydekampf, Guided Meditation & Sleep Hypnosis Talkdown with Michelle: A Day At The Beach ... not to mention quora, of course.

You see why back in 2014 I labelled this kind of thing a hypno binge?

3/27/17 at 3:04 PM
Wondering how many Pentecostal "things" (not always labelled as miracle, but often as deliverance) have something to do with a hypnotic preparation.

Thank God that that is NOT what I am building my faith on, and hope whoever is concerned has better intellectual reasons for Christianity than such experiences.

3/27/17 at 4:25 PM
By the way, this night also, not a trace of dreaming, as in sleep dreaming, of KA meeting me on street or hypnotising me.

Did some looking over psalms and it seems not only were Medieval monks praying them in an alpha state, but the psalmists themselves were doing so.

Happy he who feareth the Lord?

I saw a hypno video in which subjects were thoroughly fearful of the hypnohammer - and thoroughly happy when it hit them.

Happiness in heaven and a state of grace while on earth are at least related to the smile of a hypnotic subject.

3/27/17 at 4:27 PM
And yes, what I wanted to write now was sth else, this thing is a bit distracting.

Here we go.

We dream about things we have habits of attending to at night. One thing I dreamt about this night was timelines overlapping with each other, dynasties or whatever, and centuries going from Christ to c. 913 AD or sth.

That should tell you one of my interests, and I could have been dreaming about Yngling dynasty or sth starting way up North with Odin and Frey a little before the Birth of Christ.

3/27/17 at 5:35 PM
17:34 still more hypno videos ...

3/27/17 at 6:43 PM
18:42 at least not feeling drooping eyelids the last hours ... but of course getting familiar with other triggers.

for message IV

1 comment: