XIV On Stopping Masturbation

Q

How do I stop masturbating if I'm 14?
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-stop-masturbating-if-Im-14

C by Q

I masturbate at night due to my talented good looking friends. I imagine myself as them when I masturbate. I know I have the willpower to stop it but I don't know how to bring it. I am tall, thin and can play piano well. I don't want to go to any psychologist as I KNOW I CAN STOP. I need guidance

I

Collapsed answer:

Vikas Choudhary

B.sc. Part ll Physics & Mathematics

Written Mar 27

Get a gf

And attach yourself emotionally with her and you'll eventually stop overdoing.

[From the second line, I hope everyone has guessed that gf = girl friend]

II

Hans-Georg Lundahl

studied at Lund University

Written Mar 28

Pray the Rosary and ask God for help.

If you can’t stop altogether, try to limit it.

AND, even better would be to marry, but in your country and time that may be hard to achive in practise.

EDIT : added link here:

Overcome Porn Addiction
http://catholicmenconquerporn.com/p/overcome-porn-addiction

Jordan Shank

42m ago

Marry at 14? Is that a practice you’re personally familiar with? If not, then I don’t believe it’s good advice.

Then again, replacing masturbating with sex is totally a legitimate reason to get married.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

17m ago

Personally?

I am personally familiar with being denied that practise, or even the somewhat less radical and more bourgeois practise of getting engaged at 14 and marrying at 18 after spending 4 years preparing the marriage.

I am however familiar with the fact as a historic one that the Catholic Church through centuries has been allowing boys to marry from age 14 and girls from age 12. This was also the age limit in Spain about 100 years ago.

Moira Lomas

Written Mar 27

Why do you want to stop? There's nothing wrong with masturbating.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Mar 29

He might not think that, nor do I.

Kevin Nissley

Played with explosives (12B) and now I buy stuff

Written Mar 27

I'm going to let you in on a secret Sanjay Whiteman. I'm 37 and haven't stopped since I started around the age of 12. I don't plan on stopping either. Masturbation is healthy, normal and fun.

Why should you stop?

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Mar 29

That is precisely the kind of thing I should NOT have liked hearing as a teen, or should have liked NOT to have heard.

Plus where is the respect for his autonomy, if you aren’t giving him tips on what he is asking for, how to stop?

[This obviously implies, the advice given by Vikas Choudhary is the one I would have needed, not to get, since I already thought so, but to get support in, instead of demoralising discouragements.]

Ellen Roepert

writer, hypnotist, gamer, spiritual dabbler

Written Mar 27

You don’t need to go to a psychologist. You don’t even need to stop. It is healthy and normal for people your age to masturbate.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Mar 29

Normal to masturbate, not normal to become a parent?

Plus, what about his autonomy, if he wants to stop why discourage him rather than give tips on how to do it?

Ellen Roepert

Mar 29

Because I know it’s normal and healthy for a human being to masturbate. No it is not normal to become a parent at the age of 14. It’s damn irresponsible.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

15h ago

Most generations previous to the two latest ones have disagreed.

And also disagreed on “responsible” vs “irresponsible” being the prime factors in deciding what is right and wrong.

Ellen Roepert

14h ago

That doesn't change my judgement.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

14h ago

Too bad.

What is your big argument for modern man (1900 AD to present) knowing better than everyone or most who went before?

Ellen Roepert

13h ago

We live very different now. It's a choice to start a family now, because we have effective contraception. People can now have sex without immediately having babies too. We can choose now. Contraception changed everything.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

Contraception certainly changed possibilities.

Suppose we got the possibility to tailor the genetics of our children, to involve transgenics, triple helix, genes from animals or plants, technically, would that also change the duty of making a human child into one choice among others?

If not, why not?

Ellen Roepert

There is no duty to make a human child. There is a duty to take good care of every human child that is born. And a 14 year old can not offer the financial, pedagogical or otherwise parental care that a 30 year old can.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

"There is no duty to make a human child."

Does that involve it is allowed to make transgenics children - humans with genetic modifications - if that becomes technically possible?*

"There is a duty to take good care of every human child that is born."

At least to take the best care one can.

What exact level of care is too bad for allowing someone to be a parent?

"And a 14 year old can not offer the financial, pedagogical or otherwise parental care that a 30 year old can."

Let's break this down.

• financial - because of today's economy which does neither allow 14 year olds to marry, nor to make a living by working
• pedagogical - by the time the baby is newborn, it is so young, the pedagogical care given by a 14 year old is quite adequate and by the time the baby needs more, the parent will have as many extra years as the baby and will no longer be 14.
• or otherwise parental care - you could be more precise. I’ll give one example, when it comes to providing with siblings, someone who bears first time at fourteen is a better mother than someone who starts at 30.

Ellen Roepert

I disagree with everything you say here.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

Care to get into details?

Ellen Roepert

12h ago

I have already told you that an adult can provide for a child. And a teenager cannot.

[Here I started writing an answer, which I could not post, since Ellen Roepert blocked me.]

* In other words, did she accentuate "there is no duty to make a human child" or "there is no duty to make a human child"? If the former, why is not making it, totally better than not making it human? Both questions related to what the normal biological sequence would be.

XIII Hypnosis and Truth - Or Manipulation?

Q

Is there a way I can hypnotize someone to tell the truth for 10 minutes? https://www.quora.com/Is-there-a-way-I-can-hypnotize-someone-to-tell-the-truth-for-10-minutes/answer/Ellen-Roepert

I

Ellen Roepert

recreational hypnotist and subject

Written Fri

No. Hypnosis will not force people to tell the truth. Hypnosis is not something you'd find easy to learn. It might take more than 10 just to hypnotise someone. And once hypnotised, they are still themselves, if they don't want to tell you the truth, they won't.

What is “the truth” anyway?

Hans-Georg Lundahl

How do you explain what happens in this video:

"Hypnotize My Roommate" - Kutztown Trio 1 3 College Hypnosis
John Cerbone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1__TcCFv3QE

Ellen Roepert

13h ago

That is a hypnotist using what is often called a rapid hypnosis induction. It requires years of practice to learn how to do that, and it usually requires at least 30 minutes of talking and getting to know each other and preparation.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

Which is not shown in video.

But could the girl be lying, or is he getting straight answers?

Ellen Roepert

13h ago

She is probably saying exactly what she thinks he wants her to say. That's not necessarily the truth.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

Ah, that is interesting.

So, if I allowed a girl disciple of Cerbone to hypnotise me in a similar fashion, she could manipulate me to say things I had never dreamed of and which are not true?

[Meaning, as readers of my blog may know, Katherine Anne.]

Ellen Roepert

13h ago

Anyone you talk to can possibly manipulate you into saying lots of things. That has nothing to do with hypnosis.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

OK, she could manipulate me into saying the kind of things someone could manipulate me into saying otherwise, but not the kind of things someone would not be able to manipulate me to say otherwise?

Ellen Roepert

12h ago

Manipulation is unrelated to hypnosis.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

12m ago

I don’t think so.

• 1) The more you focus on someone, the more he or she is able to manipulate you.
• 2) Hypnosis as per induction already involves synonyms to “it feels soooooooooo good to” be manipulated by the hypnotist.

By the way, I don’t think we were talking about the same thing when we were asking whether hypnosis would make her tell the truth.

You said hypnosis would not force her to tell the truth if she decided to lie. Probably correct, in so far as she recalled that decision … which hypnosis could have made her forget.

I was thinking more on lines of hypnosis making it more difficult to lie successfully, since she could not concentrate on lying, since concentrated on sth else while on the other hand it would also remove certain inhibitions from telling the truth.

The fact the room mate agreed to get hypnotised in the first place was kind of getting into an agreement - subconscious or not - to reveal things she would normally not have revealed.

Meaning, with a hypnotist she would be not forced, but manipulated … question being, what is more likely : into telling the truth? or into saying what she empathetically thinks the hypnotist wants to hear?

I don’t know, you are the expert on the mind under hypnosis.

I have been to a dentist who used it once or twice, I have been dabbling on my own with autohypnosis, I was semi-hypnotised by a girl I liked before that and even better after that : she made me answer “1*1” to equal “2”. I rejected hypnosis for many years at about age 22, but was even so an alpha state junkie and this enhanced my prayer life, and I have been hankering back to hypnosis now that I have had my prayer life disturbed.

I also went through one session of psychosynthesis while on a teachers’ conference, and that in fact meant hypnosis.

That is it, except for of late using hypno videos (with some caution and restraint about some content) each time I am into what I call a hypno binge.

You, on the other hand, have been through it with people who were expert, you have talked through with them what happened, and what can happen to a mind under hypnosis and things like that.

But on the other hand, I think there is some ideology in the way you answer about certain things. Sorry. I am currently not hypnotised by you and I am not quite manipulated by you either.

Ellen Roepert

9m ago

Hypnosis rarely makes anyone forget anything.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

6m ago

I think it on the contrary succeeds very well in making you forget lots of things for the moment.

Ellen Roepert

even later

There is no point in me trying to disel all the myths from your comments.

[dispel, I suppose]

Other answers

Each now first given with my follow up question, but may be updated if it is answered.

II

Keith Blakemore-Noble

Master hypnotist & trainer for 7 years, use for therapy and for entertainment.

Written Sat

No.

Not unless they wanted you to. In which case you wouldn't need to anyway.

Hypnosis is not mind control , you can not use it to force someone to do something they don't want to do.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

"just now"

I’d like to ask you the same thing which I asked Ellen Roepert, do you think the guy Cerbone on hypnotise my room mate is getting true answers?

[link to video, see above]

III

Diana Laskaris

works at Impact, LLC

Written Fri

I agree with the previous responder. Also, remember that one of the challenges with hypnosis is that the mind will “fill in blanks” the way it believes is true. This is why hypnosis, which is great for many things like recall and behavioral change, cannot be used in court. If someone is asked under hypnosis, “did you see a blue car in front of your house on Thursday June 22?” their mind will play through all the other times it saw a blue car in front of your house and make the logical, but not necessarily true, leap that, yes, there was a blue car in front of the house on the day in question.

This is not to say that hypnosis creates unreliable or untruthful responses. Most often quite the opposite. However, because the mind’s response can be based on its own differing interpretations of “truth” what is true in one mind may not match what is true in another.

Diana

http://www.dianalaskaris.com

Hans-Georg Lundahl

"just now"

I’d like to ask you the same thing which I asked Ellen Roepert, do you think the guy Cerbone on hypnotise my room mate is getting true answers?

[link to video, see above]

IX quora : If one practises self hypnosis, is it easier to be hypnotised by a stranger?

Q I asked

If one practises self hypnosis, is it easier to be hypnotised by a stranger?
https://www.quora.com/If-one-practises-self-hypnosis-is-it-easier-to-be-hypnotised-by-a-stranger

Own comment

Specifically : if one is sleeping outside, one is of course exposed to other people when going to sleep.

I

Cat Wilson

Do it. Teach it.

Written Jan 14

Stranger than what? (smile) Sorry, couldn't resist. We know that all hypnosis is self hypnosis. How you naturally do it is how you created your response. Hypnosis requires:

• permission
• ability to follow instructions
• process that fits you
• sufficient time.

The person who feels safe with a Hypnotherapist may confidently let go and relax.

When you practice shooting a ball into a basket you get good at making baskets. Not so strange anymore … unless a clown with a bouquet of balloons walks by.

(smile)

Cat

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Jan 14

Good first question, since I was not referring to a chosen hypnotherapist.

Like a stranger in the street or sth else, or perhaps sn one has met.

And I mean sn who could also induce forgetting the hypnotism, if so.

II

Michael DeBusk

Hypnotist since 1993

Written Jan 12

I think so. One of the easiest inductions I ever did was with a girl who was an avid meditator.

“Oh! So you already know how to go into a trance,” I said.

“Yes, I guess I do,” she responded.

“Then all I have to do is wait,” I told her. “When you begin now, I’ll join you.”

She went deeper than anyone I've worked with. She knew how, you see. She'd been there many times and was good at it. I needed only get out of her way.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Jan 13

First, thank you for answering.

Second, the situation is somewhat different, since she had agreed to be hypnotised by you.

I meant like stealth hypnosis by strangers taking advantage of seing me at sleep or going to sleep or things like that.

III

Derry Cooke

Certified hypnotherapist in private practice since 2015.

Written Jan 14

All things being otherwise equal, then 'Yes!'

Hypnosis is a consent process and like any other skill, practice improves performance.

The rapport between hypnotist and subject and the expectations of the subject are more important determinants of the ease andquality of the hypnotic engagement.

IV

Ellen Roepert

recreational hypnotist and subject

Written Jan 12

Yes and no. If you have practiced self hypnosis, then you know how to easily go into trance, with or without help. You also know how to wake up from trance, and how suggestions work on you.

That means you will find it easier to go into trance with any other hypnotist, and that you will find it easier to not go into trance, or wake up, when you don’t want to go into trance right now, because you don’t trust the hypnotist for example.

[Updated:] Hans-Georg Lundahl: If you’re asleep, you will not be hypnotised by anyone. You’re asleep, you can’t hear what they are saying.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

“If you’re asleep, you will not be hypnotised by anyone. You’re asleep, you can’t hear what they are saying.”

I meant first asleep, then woken up, then hypnotised while too groggy to resist or get angry.

Also, not quite true about light REM sleep?

Hans-Georg Lundahl

[comment linking to this post.]

Ellen Roepert

Why do you copy Quora to a blogger?

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Why not?

Gives a neat oversight over each dialogue?

If you did not want any reproduced, you should have added the words “not for reproduction”.

I link back to quora (which is the quoran rules’ condition for reproducing) and also correctly attribute all contributions not my own.

V Requested

Alba Alamillo

Certified Hypnotherapist since 2006, I have a successful practice in the SF Area

Written Jan 15

I practice self-hypnosis, I know it’s super safe and even good because I feel great afterwards. If I go to a hypnotherapist because I want to be hypnotized, my knowledge about hypnosis will allow me relax, let go and cooperate. Assuming that I trust the person.

I have a super cute anecdote.

Hypnosis is so safe that one day I was teaching my son (maybe 10 at a time) how to hypnotize me. I said: “Son, you have to ask me to stare at a spot above eye level and tell me that my eyelids are getting heavy and when you see me kind of yawning I’m ready, then you tell me to lie down, close my eyes and then you only say nice things, like the ones that I say to you when I hypnotize you, but you have to adapt them to an adult woman”

ok, and off he went with the induction and then he asked me to lie down and relax my body, then he wasn’t sure what to say, what kind of nice things to say so after thinking for a while he said:

“and you are with your friends and family, and all the people who love you, and you are in a party, and in this party the food is ready and someone serves you and you eat and enjoy and you have fun with your friends and there are a lot of waiters bringing plates and taking them away, and they bring you your favorite food, and you are very happy because this time you don’t have to clean the kitchen…”

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Jan 16

I believe you.

The problem is, can self hypnosis have been abused by strangers I had not invited to do hypnotherapy for a fast induction, and following amnesia of hypnosis?

Especially in situations where I have been exposed to sleep privations.

VI

Rusty Metty

Technical Consultant - UX

Written Jan 13

No. It depends on the hypnosis skills of the stranger. Hypnosis works on everyone. The stranger will need to accurately gauge the degree to which your conscious mind Protects your subconscious mind from suggestion. if you are able to self hypnotize there may be no need to seek a stranger With these skills.

VII

Richie Aitoro

Hypnotist, writer, consultant and lover of change work.

Written Jan 13

Not necessarily unless you want to be.

VIII

Umair Usman

I developed the 'cognitive consulting' framework

Written Jan 12

In my experience they are totally different things