XIV On Stopping Masturbation

Q

How do I stop masturbating if I'm 14?
https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-stop-masturbating-if-Im-14

C by Q

I masturbate at night due to my talented good looking friends. I imagine myself as them when I masturbate. I know I have the willpower to stop it but I don't know how to bring it. I am tall, thin and can play piano well. I don't want to go to any psychologist as I KNOW I CAN STOP. I need guidance

I

Collapsed answer:

Vikas Choudhary

B.sc. Part ll Physics & Mathematics

Written Mar 27

Get a gf

And attach yourself emotionally with her and you'll eventually stop overdoing.

[From the second line, I hope everyone has guessed that gf = girl friend]

II

Hans-Georg Lundahl

studied at Lund University

Written Mar 28

Pray the Rosary and ask God for help.

If you can’t stop altogether, try to limit it.

AND, even better would be to marry, but in your country and time that may be hard to achive in practise.

EDIT : added link here:

Overcome Porn Addiction
http://catholicmenconquerporn.com/p/overcome-porn-addiction

Jordan Shank

42m ago

Marry at 14? Is that a practice you’re personally familiar with? If not, then I don’t believe it’s good advice.

Then again, replacing masturbating with sex is totally a legitimate reason to get married.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

17m ago

Personally?

I am personally familiar with being denied that practise, or even the somewhat less radical and more bourgeois practise of getting engaged at 14 and marrying at 18 after spending 4 years preparing the marriage.

I am however familiar with the fact as a historic one that the Catholic Church through centuries has been allowing boys to marry from age 14 and girls from age 12. This was also the age limit in Spain about 100 years ago.

Moira Lomas

Written Mar 27

Why do you want to stop? There's nothing wrong with masturbating.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Mar 29

He might not think that, nor do I.

Kevin Nissley

Played with explosives (12B) and now I buy stuff

Written Mar 27

I'm going to let you in on a secret Sanjay Whiteman. I'm 37 and haven't stopped since I started around the age of 12. I don't plan on stopping either. Masturbation is healthy, normal and fun.

Why should you stop?

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Mar 29

That is precisely the kind of thing I should NOT have liked hearing as a teen, or should have liked NOT to have heard.

Plus where is the respect for his autonomy, if you aren’t giving him tips on what he is asking for, how to stop?

[This obviously implies, the advice given by Vikas Choudhary is the one I would have needed, not to get, since I already thought so, but to get support in, instead of demoralising discouragements.]

Ellen Roepert

writer, hypnotist, gamer, spiritual dabbler

Written Mar 27

You don’t need to go to a psychologist. You don’t even need to stop. It is healthy and normal for people your age to masturbate.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

Mar 29

Normal to masturbate, not normal to become a parent?

Plus, what about his autonomy, if he wants to stop why discourage him rather than give tips on how to do it?

Ellen Roepert

Mar 29

Because I know it’s normal and healthy for a human being to masturbate. No it is not normal to become a parent at the age of 14. It’s damn irresponsible.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

15h ago

Most generations previous to the two latest ones have disagreed.

And also disagreed on “responsible” vs “irresponsible” being the prime factors in deciding what is right and wrong.

Ellen Roepert

14h ago

That doesn't change my judgement.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

14h ago

Too bad.

What is your big argument for modern man (1900 AD to present) knowing better than everyone or most who went before?

Ellen Roepert

13h ago

We live very different now. It's a choice to start a family now, because we have effective contraception. People can now have sex without immediately having babies too. We can choose now. Contraception changed everything.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

Contraception certainly changed possibilities.

Suppose we got the possibility to tailor the genetics of our children, to involve transgenics, triple helix, genes from animals or plants, technically, would that also change the duty of making a human child into one choice among others?

If not, why not?

Ellen Roepert

There is no duty to make a human child. There is a duty to take good care of every human child that is born. And a 14 year old can not offer the financial, pedagogical or otherwise parental care that a 30 year old can.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

"There is no duty to make a human child."

Does that involve it is allowed to make transgenics children - humans with genetic modifications - if that becomes technically possible?*

"There is a duty to take good care of every human child that is born."

At least to take the best care one can.

What exact level of care is too bad for allowing someone to be a parent?

"And a 14 year old can not offer the financial, pedagogical or otherwise parental care that a 30 year old can."

Let's break this down.

• financial - because of today's economy which does neither allow 14 year olds to marry, nor to make a living by working
• pedagogical - by the time the baby is newborn, it is so young, the pedagogical care given by a 14 year old is quite adequate and by the time the baby needs more, the parent will have as many extra years as the baby and will no longer be 14.
• or otherwise parental care - you could be more precise. I’ll give one example, when it comes to providing with siblings, someone who bears first time at fourteen is a better mother than someone who starts at 30.

Ellen Roepert

I disagree with everything you say here.

Hans-Georg Lundahl

13h ago

Care to get into details?

Ellen Roepert

12h ago

I have already told you that an adult can provide for a child. And a teenager cannot.

[Here I started writing an answer, which I could not post, since Ellen Roepert blocked me.]

* In other words, did she accentuate "there is no duty to make a human child" or "there is no duty to make a human child"? If the former, why is not making it, totally better than not making it human? Both questions related to what the normal biological sequence would be.